When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore. -Louis C. K. Marriage
The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to. -Louis C. K. Famous
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. -Louis C. K. Diet
I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. -Louis C. K. Humor
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing. -Louis C. K. Sports
I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at. -Louis C. K. Failure
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out. -Louis C. K. Computers
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. -Louis C. K. Time
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes. -Louis C. K. Future
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them. -Louis C. K. Positive
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it. -Louis C. K. Romantic
I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff. -Louis C. K. Hope
When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.' -Louis C. K. Dating
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. -Louis C. K. Work
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people. -Louis C. K. Power
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. -Louis C. K. Car
I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. -Louis C. K. Great
