The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller 1 Share Now -
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller 2 Share Now -
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller 3 Share Now -
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller 4 Share Now -
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller 5 Share Now -
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller 7 Share Now -
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller 8 Share Now -
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller 9 Share Now -
