When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.

- Louis C. K.

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

- Louis C. K.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

- Louis C. K.

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

- Louis C. K.

I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

- Louis C. K.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

- Louis C. K.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

- Louis C. K.

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

- Louis C. K.

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

- Louis C. K.

I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.

- Louis C. K.