I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. - Henny Youngman 1 Share Now -
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henny Youngman 3 Share Now -
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman 4 Share Now -
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. - Henny Youngman 7 Share Now -
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman 8 Share Now -
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman 10 Share Now -
