I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. -Paula Poundstone Thankful
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats. -Paula Poundstone Home
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. -Paula Poundstone Humor
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' -Paula Poundstone Mom
I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled. -Paula Poundstone Thankful
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. -Paula Poundstone Funny
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. -Paula Poundstone Humor
I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California. -Paula Poundstone Thankful
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. -Paula Poundstone Death
