Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. -P. J. O'Rourke Happiness
If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas. -P. J. O'Rourke Death
A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. -P. J. O'Rourke Space
Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. -P. J. O'Rourke Thanksgiving
Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. -P. J. O'Rourke Marriage
Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. -P. J. O'Rourke Anger
In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America. -P. J. O'Rourke Anger
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient. -P. J. O'Rourke Politics
People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans. -P. J. O'Rourke Anger
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. -P. J. O'Rourke Religion
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. -P. J. O'Rourke Death
Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now behind the counter when you renew your car registration at the department of motor vehicles. -P. J. O'Rourke Car
Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease. -P. J. O'Rourke Medical
I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to. -P. J. O'Rourke Technology
The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. -P. J. O'Rourke Failure
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. -P. J. O'Rourke Politics
Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture, which ranges from the bland to the fancifully bland. -P. J. O'Rourke Architecture
